9.10.2008
9.08.2008
Planning for the fall football season in the
South
is radically different than up
North.
For those who are planning a football trip south,
here are some helpful hints.
Women's Accessories:
NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks,
waterproof mascara,
and a fifth of bourbon.
Money not necessary - that's what dates are for........
*wink*
Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
Fathers:
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.
Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.
Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America .
Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Giuliani
SOUTH: Archie & Peyton Manning
Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus, make a large financial contribution and put name on a waiting list for tickets.
Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.
Parking :
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting 'Game Day Live' to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why 'Game Day Live' is never Broadcast from their campus.
Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance from the Dave Matthews Band
...who comes over during breaks
and asks for a hit off bottle of bourbon.
Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask 'Where's the stadium?' When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it is the state's third largest city.
Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.
When National Anthem is played:
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.
The Smell in the Air after the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, Gunpowder (from the cannon in the end zone),
with a touch of bourbon.
Commentary (Male):
NORTH: 'Nice play.'
SOUTH: 'Dammit, you slow sum'bitch - tackle him and break his legs!
'Commentary (Female):
NORTH: 'My, this certainly is a violent sport.'
SOUTH: 'Dammit, you slow sum'bitch - tackle him and break his legs.'
Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.
After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker, while somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, and planning begins for next week's game.
Nothing else in the universe
comes even halfway close to the glories of
Southern
football!
Love it ~ Bro!
9.07.2008
I'm Just A Little Board....
You know, if people actually caught me in their yards,
photographing their wooden fences,
ya'll might not hear from me for awhile.
I need a life.
Kidding......I am beginning to love mine, again.
Don't Look Back....
These images were taken in Orange Beach, Alabama. I just loved the "Funny Car" ride!
And boy,
does the second image speak volumes!
9.06.2008
9.05.2008
9.01.2008
u feel
By Mike Fable
"......I CAN FEEL IT IN THE AIR, SO THERE'S NO NEED FOR SIGHT,
BET THIS IS THE SAME FEELING BEANNIE SIGEL HAS WHEN HE SITS DOWN TO WRITE,
I, LIKE HE, AM FILLED WITH SPIRIT OR IN OTHER WORDS FIGHT,
HE, LIKE WE, WANTS CHANGE WHICH WE'RE TRYING TO IGNITE,
WE, LIKE HIM, SEE THE WORLD FOR WHAT IT COULD BE RIGHT, RIGHT,
I SEE THESE WORDS LIKE BEANNIE SEES LIFE, WITH INSIGHT,
AT THIS VERY MOMENT I'M OVERWHELMED WITH URGE,
BET THIS IS THE SAME FEELING A PARAPLEGIC HAS WHEN APPROACHING HIS FIRST CURB,
I, LIKE HE, IS TRANSLATING PERPLEXING VISIONS INTO FEELINGS WHICH DRIVES THE SURGE,
HE, LIKE WE, WILL OVERCOME OBSTACLES AND ONE DAY EMERGE,
WE, LIKE HIM, WILL ALWAYS BE ON THE VERGE TO PURGE,
I SEE THESE WORDS LIKE A PARAPLEGIC SEES A WHEELCHAIR, WILL DIVERGE....."
"......I CAN FEEL IT IN THE AIR, SO THERE'S NO NEED FOR SIGHT,
BET THIS IS THE SAME FEELING BEANNIE SIGEL HAS WHEN HE SITS DOWN TO WRITE,
I, LIKE HE, AM FILLED WITH SPIRIT OR IN OTHER WORDS FIGHT,
HE, LIKE WE, WANTS CHANGE WHICH WE'RE TRYING TO IGNITE,
WE, LIKE HIM, SEE THE WORLD FOR WHAT IT COULD BE RIGHT, RIGHT,
I SEE THESE WORDS LIKE BEANNIE SEES LIFE, WITH INSIGHT,
AT THIS VERY MOMENT I'M OVERWHELMED WITH URGE,
BET THIS IS THE SAME FEELING A PARAPLEGIC HAS WHEN APPROACHING HIS FIRST CURB,
I, LIKE HE, IS TRANSLATING PERPLEXING VISIONS INTO FEELINGS WHICH DRIVES THE SURGE,
HE, LIKE WE, WILL OVERCOME OBSTACLES AND ONE DAY EMERGE,
WE, LIKE HIM, WILL ALWAYS BE ON THE VERGE TO PURGE,
I SEE THESE WORDS LIKE A PARAPLEGIC SEES A WHEELCHAIR, WILL DIVERGE....."
Visit
to read this poem
in it's entirety.
8.31.2008
8.28.2008
8.27.2008
Humph..........
You know those days where you just do NOT want to get out of the bed?
Like, when you just lay there and can think of NOTHING that motivates you to even roll over?
Well, that's me today.
The sun is shining, I can tell this because it is brighter in my bedroom than it has been in about a week.
Still, I have no desire to go out and bask in it.
It's hot as hell.
MMMMM......there are cheescake cupcakes with blueberry topping on them in the fridge.
Nah, not even that seems worth the travel.
Heck, I'm just gonna end this post and go back to bed.
I wish each of you a beautiful day
with a bit more energy and motivation
than I can seem to squander.
Oh,
and hug someone special today.
It's a good feeling.
:)
8.23.2008
8.22.2008
Powerful Woman's Motto.......
Live your life in such a way
that when your feet hit the floor in the morning,
the Devil shudders & says...
"Oh shit...she's awake!!"
8.17.2008
Revirgination....
For those of you who have lived in the country or spent any time at all hiking in the woods will know that a road or a trail with regular traffic, be it vehicular or pedestrian, will remain clear and open. But let it fall into disuse, and very soon the weeds and vines will crowd in until, in scarcely any time at all, the pathway is completely obscured as if it never even existed. What we need is an intrepid new blazer of trails.And so it is with us when our personal trails have gone unblazed for a time: We revert to our former state. An you know, of course, what an unexplored wood is called don't you? Yes, it is a virgin forest. If we spend too much time without a regular man, we may go into a state of revirgination. This is a positive occurrence, given the high premium placed by men on virginity in both woods and women. They just do purely love to be the first one in someplace.
For revirgination to occur in a woman, it requires some changes in demeanor and comportment. It is not enough to be a virgin - or a revirgin, as it were - one must also act like one. A certain degree of shyness, timidity, and wide-eyed naivete' is required. Certain props, such as cutsie-artsy glasses, hairbows (not my style but maybe yours), and a new "pearl" something, may help facilitate your transformation process. You can also get good tips from romance novels: Every body's a virgin in them!
The time it takes for revirgination to occur varies from woman to woman. Some might revirginate in a matter of weeks, while for others it might take months. Still others have honed their skills to such a level that they're able to simply spontaneously revirginate within mere moments as often as the situation demands.
Revirgination works according to the old theory of "TREAT 'EM LIKE SHIT AND NEVER GIVE 'EM ANY and THEY WILL FOLLOW YOU AROUND LIKE DOGS,' and it's easy to see why. If you're not just a bitch but a virgin to boot.....well mercy be! You better like this guy a heap, because if you DON'T, you will have to pay (big time) to have him towed away.
A reconstituted virgin is so much better than a plain ole' virgin that's been sitting in storage for a hundred years. With a revirgin, all the benefits of training, experience and the accompanying enthusiasm are retained; in addition, the equipment has been well maintained. It is not necessary or even desirable to pretend to your new trailblazer that you have never been down this road before, especially if you have one or more children who look exactly like you! No, it is enough to state, for the record, that you are a card-carrying reconstituted virgin and entitled to all manner of special considerations as such. It will then be up to him to woo and entice you to yield your most current virtue to his manly assaults upon its bastions. (He can also get some good tips from romance novels and fairy tales. I mean, who could resist a guy who rides up on a noble steed, rescues you from a dastardly villain, and gives you a kingdom or something comparable, right? Actually, if he could just prove that he is not himself a dastardly villain, he'd be pretty darned irresistible in MY opinion; I'd be perfectly happy to provide my own steed and kingdom even - but that's just ME!)
This revirgination thing is ONLY useful up to a POINT!
Holding out too long is just cutting your nose off to spite your face.
So do try to keep in mind how much better your face looks and feels with a nose!
(*winks*)
God Bless the Sweet Potato Queens!
8.16.2008
In life,
we generally meet people that either
ravage our soul or fill it with love.
Its been difficult
(stubborn girl)
but I am trying to recognize it's
MY CHOICE
whom I allow into my world;
soul eaters or loving people.
One would think this is something I would have learned in grade school.
But, apparently there are many like myself that tenaciously hold on to those rose colored glasses.
Sounds like an honorable trait but beware – people like us must be especially wary of the charming façade of the soul eaters.
And as my friends,
I would consider it an act of love
were you to remind me to remove those
damn rose-colored glasses
should any of you see them re-appear on me.
Thank you each.
Me
8.04.2008
7.29.2008
My Award......................thank you!
This award comes to me from a well lov3d and honorable blogger.
I take note of this kind of stuff
and lemme' tell you something..........
I am speechless.
My life,
is a sculpture of
dry and moist emotions.
All tangled up in a whirl.
I am a girl.
{{{which gives me the right to change my fvkin mind}}}
A woman.
A mother.
A life partner.
A will.
A love.
A hope.
A dream.
A wonderer.
A blogger.
A writer.
A survivor.
A pain in the ass.
A sister.
A daughter.
A lover.
A daughter-in-law.
An aunt.
A friend.
An artist.
A cousin.
A neice.
A bitch.
A fluffer.
A photographer.
An artistic designer.
A hopeless romantic.
A believer.
A traveler.
A wife.
A girlfriend.
A significant other.
An "ex".
A believer.
A cutter.
A suicide survivor.
An enemy.
A country lover.
A yoga instructor.
A drunk driver.
A drunk driver.
A cheerleading sponsor.
A cancer survivor.
A challenge.
A winner.
A changer.
A true blue beach wonder.
A trick.
A trainer.
An old music lover.
A monster.
A sinner.
A saint.
A ruthless beginner, painter.
....................AND.................
An
ARTE Y PICO AWARD WINNER!
{{{{Hummmmmmmmmmmmmph}}}}
Looks to me like I've got straight
"A's"
this report.
How 'bout you?
Heck..........I gift this honor to everyone
on my blog roll.
Share your
"A's"
with the world!
Thank you,
for this award.
Especially
today!
... i AM
Well, for the most part,
I am well,
um.........back.
Yet NOT!
If any of you track your hits,
via Feedjit,
you will notice that
liquidilluzion
has relocated.
........Yep.......
starting fresh from outta' the old numbing zip code of
39305.
Had to happen for many, many, many reasons.
All is great and I have about
eh,
let's just say......
about 100 photos
of the past months journey on the road
to share with you.
They will tell a wonderous tale of how
Liquid
ended up relocating to
This is all I'm gonna' give out in Bloggeritaville for now
because I have to get our new kitchen
organized and such.
I have missed you each,
so
very
much!
6.28.2008
... she IS
Suzanne
is wild like the wind
easy to make friends
lives to love and love to live
her beauty is eternal
a strong woman
with a tender heart
her talent knows
no boundaries …
Suzanne
… loves unconditionally
her love comes from within
thus allowing the power that be
to guide her steps
to set her spirit free …
Suzanne
forgives her enemies
love those who caused her pain
she speaks her mind
standing up for herself
there is no shame
for indeed
life is the only game
worth playing …
judge not this angel
who entertains us
with wonders to behold
she opens her soul
and God knows
the goodness of her heart
whether she be
enthralled
in playful movements
or spinning like a tornado
change is what
makes life worth
exploring …
blessed be us
whom she calls her friends
her loyalty knows no end …
neither does mines
to her …
is wild like the wind
easy to make friends
lives to love and love to live
her beauty is eternal
a strong woman
with a tender heart
her talent knows
no boundaries …
Suzanne
… loves unconditionally
her love comes from within
thus allowing the power that be
to guide her steps
to set her spirit free …
Suzanne
forgives her enemies
love those who caused her pain
she speaks her mind
standing up for herself
there is no shame
for indeed
life is the only game
worth playing …
judge not this angel
who entertains us
with wonders to behold
she opens her soul
and God knows
the goodness of her heart
whether she be
enthralled
in playful movements
or spinning like a tornado
change is what
makes life worth
exploring …
blessed be us
whom she calls her friends
her loyalty knows no end …
neither does mines
to her …
Suzanne
hurry back beloved one
your presence is
like the sun …
can’t live without it!
© 6/27/2007 Amias
6.27.2008
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