FIREFLIES....

The story of the Lightening Bug

Thank you, Tom

Were you aware that when catching fireflies, you should NOT poke holes in the jar's lid? It's true. When you do, and you think you are allowing it to get fresh air, it actually evaporates and dries out the jar inside. Ya' really shouldn't leave them in a jar that long anyway, after all they are only trying to find a mate while bringing a smile to your face.

FRIED GREEN TOMATOS.....

INGREDIENTS:
-4 to 6 green tomatoes, sliced 1/4-inch thick
-salt and pepper
-flour for dusting
-2 eggs, beaten
-cornmeal or bread crumbs
-bacon grease or vegetable oil

PREPARATION:
Salt and pepper the tomato slices; dust lightly with flour. Dip slices in beaten egg, letting excess drip off, then coat well with meal or crumbs. Fry in hot grease or oil until browned, turning gently (about 3 minutes each side). Keep warm in a low 200° to 250° oven if frying in batches.

Especially posted for RDL

A COWGIRL'S GUIDE TO LIFE....

-Don't forget to wear pearls.
-Don't squat with your spurs on.
-Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.
-Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
-The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

-If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
-If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.
-It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
-The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you tweeze your brows in the mirror every morning.
-Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
-If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
-Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
-Always drink upstream from the herd.
-Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.
-Tellin' someone to git lost and makin' em do it are two entirely different propositions.
-If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.
-Good judgement comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgement.
-When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
-When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
-Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.
-Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's sure crucial to know what it was.
-The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.

AND.....
-Never miss a good chance to shut up.

A COCKLE....

Cockle is the common name for bivalve mollusks of the family Cardiidae. The shells are a common fixture on many beaches throughout the world. The distinct rounded shells are symmetrical, heart-shaped and feature strongly pronounced ribs.

KUDZU....

Gardening Tips from Down South
How to Grow Kudzu

All you beginning gardeners out there might want to consider growing kudzu as a fine way to launch out into the great adventure of gardenning in the south. Kudzu, for those of you not already familiar with it, is a hardy perennial that can be grown quite well by the beginner who observes these few simple rules:

Choosing a Plot:
Kudzu can be grown almost anywhere, so site selection is not the problem it is with some other finicky plants like strawberries. Although kudzu will grow quite well on cement, for best result you should select an area having at least some dirt. To avoid possible lawsuits, it is advisable to plant well away from your neighbors house, unless, of course, you don't get along well with your neighbor anyway.

Preparing the Soil:
Go out and stomp on the soil for a while just to get its attention and to prepare it for kudzu.

Deciding When to Plant:
Kudzu should always be planted at night. If kudzu is planted during daylight hours, angry neighbors might see you and begin throwing rocks at you.

Selecting the Proper Fertilizer:
The best fertilizer I have discovered for kudzu is 40 weight non-detergent motor oil. Kudzu actually doesn't need anything to help it grow, but the motor oil helps to prevent scraping the underside of the tender leaves when the kudzu starts its rapid growth. It also cuts down on the friction and lessens the danger of fire when the kudzu really starts to move. Change oil once every thousand feet or every two weeks which ever comes first.

Mulching the Plants:
Contrary to what may be told by the Extension Service, kudzu can profit from a good mulch. I have found that a heavy mulch for the young plants produces a hardier crop. For best results, as soon as the young shoots begin to appear, cover kudzu with concrete blocks. Although this causes a temporary setback, your kudzu will accept this mulch as a challenge and will reward you with redoubled determination in the long run.

Organic or Chemical Gardenning:
Kudzu is ideal for either the organic gardener or for those who prefer to use chemicals to ward off garden pests. Kudzu is oblivious to both chemicals and pests. Therefore, you can grow organically and let the pests get out of the way of the kudzu as best they can, or you can spray any commercial poison directly on your crop. Your decision depends on how much you enjoy killing bugs. The kudzu will not mind either way.

Crop Rotation:
Many gardeners are understandably concerned that growing the same crop year after year will deplete the soil. If you desire to change from kudzu to some other plant next year, now is the time to begin preparations. Right now, before the growing season has reached its peak, you should list your house and lot with a reputable real estate agent and begin making plans to move elsewhere. Your chances of selling will be better now than they will be later in the year, when it may be difficult for a prospective buyer to realize that underneath those lush green vines stands an adorable three-bedroom house.

From "The American Heritage Dictionary":
Kudzu (kood'zoo) n. A vine, Pueraria lobata, native to Japan, having compound leaves and clusters of redish purple flowers and grown for fodder and foiage.

Kudzu was introduced to Mississippi earlier this century in an attempt to provide improved fodder for cattle. It worked all too well. Cattle do love kudzu but not nearly as much as kudzu loves Mississippi. Mississippi provides nearly ideal climate and growing conditions for this rapid growing and hardy perenial (that's "hardy", as in calling nuclear weapons "explosive").
People have been known to leave home on vaction down here only to return a week later to find cars and other large objects buried under it's lush greener. It climbs telephone poles and crosses wires. It's eradication is a major expense to utility companies. The City of Jackson has used bulldozers to dig up the tubers in vacant lots. It's resistant to most "safe" chemicals although 2,4,D has some effect if used frequently enough. It's sometimes call "yard-a-night" down here because that's how fast it seems to grow. The only question seems to be whether the "yard" referred to is that of "3 feet" or that of "front and back". Rumor has it that some of the roads in the more rural areas don't get enough traffic and will be covered by kudzu after a long holiday weekend.
It is a very pretty vine in early spring and summer. It's broad leaves and flowers are quite attractive until you start to realize that the dead stick that it's sunning itself on used to be a huge pine tree. In the winter, the first hard frost turns kudzu into tons of ugly brown leaves and thick vines. It becomes a real eyesore and possibly a fire hazard although I haven't heard of any actual kudzu fires. The plant regrows new vines from the ground up every year, so you can see it's growth rate must be phenomenal.
I understand that the Japanese make a highly regarded form of tofu from kudzu tubers. It is supposed to be prized for it's nutty flavor (soy tofu is rather bland). The Japanese cannot produce enough to meet their own demand and think we're nuts for trying to eliminate it. I haven't been able to confirm this use for kudzu, but, if true, they may well be right. We've got plenty of hungery people and lots of kudzu!
The existance of kudzu in a neigborhood has been known to, adversely, affect property values. The threat of planting kudzu in someone's yard is generally considered an extreme case of "fight'en words", potentially followed by "justifiable homicide". Regardless, you can still obtain kudzu seeds from several major seed companies who list it as a "hardy ornamental perenial". If understatement was a crime they'd be history.

IT'S ALL GOOD 'CAUSE.....

I LOVE CAMPING....

TREE-BLING....

Afternoon sunlight reflects off cobalt blue bottles shaped like violins as cats frolic as mangles of grapes cluster on iron-rebar tree branches in my neighbors back yard.

She kneels to adjust a perfume bottle on a tiny tree and tip-toes to touch others placed near by. The nearly 20 bottle trees displayed in beds of iris, pastel pink native azaleas and a canopy of weeping cherry and Bradford pear trees are more than just decorations in this wonderous backyard.

For those who believe the folklore, they transform her backyard into an enchanted garden.

According to ancient African myth, bottles on trees could catch evil spirits and prevent them from entering a home. In the 18th century, Africans who came to the South as slaves adorned cedar trees with bottles for protection.

The color blue also signified healing powers.

Bottle trees are an important element of African-American visual culture. They will always be with us - like okra, hominy and black-eyed peas!

Even into the late 1950s, bottle trees glistened in out-of-the-way backyards in the rural South.

Stories such as Eudora Welty's "Livvie," published in 1943, have helped preserved the lore.

T-SHIRT TUESDAY....

SNAPPING TURTLE SOUP RECIPIE....

Any old soup recipe will work for (snapping) turtle soup.

The main problem with turtle soup is cleaning the turtle.

You have to be certain that every last speck of fat is removed from the meat before cooking. This is not too difficult because the fat is between the skin and the flesh. To butcher a turtle you start by chopping off the turtle's head. Be careful because the head will still bite even after it is removed from the body and the body will still crawl away after the head is removed.

Turtles don't die right away. When the body stops trying to crawl away, dip it in boiling water and scrape off the exterior layer of skin, including the shell.

The result will be a bright white carcus, compared to the muddy brown-green you started with.

Next step is to remove the shell.

Cut along grove on each side between the front and back legs. It is the narrowest part of the shell. The tail, neck and all four legs are attached to the top of the shell. Remove from shell and you have the bulk of the meat.

However, there will be some meat on the bottom shell and top shell. It is at this point that you remove the fat. Just roll back the skin and with a paring knife and your index finger scrape out the fat.

It has been told in family circles that my maternal grandfather would catch snapping turtles by hand. I never saw him do it because he was hit and killed by a truck when I was about nine years old. It was a big loss for me because he was just starting to teach me about turtles, wild mushrooms, dandelions and other natural things. He made the greatest doughnuts I ever ate. Good luck with your turtle soup.

Just cook it long with lots of vegetables and it will be good if you removed all of the fat.

MUSCADINES.......

Time to make some.............jelly!














RECIPIE FOR JELLY


INGREDIENTS:

2 quarts scuppernong or muscadine grapes, stemmed & washed
3 to 4 cups sugar, to taste
water

PREPARATION:
Squeeze the pulp out of the hulls, keeping pulp and hulls in separate containers. Chop hulls if desired, and place in a pan with about 1/2 cup water. Simmer until tender (about 15 minutes stir occasionally and add more water if needed to prevent sticking. In another saucepan, cook pulp until softened. Press pulp through a sieve or food mill to remove seeds. Combine pulp and hulls in a larger pan; add 3/4 cup sugar for each cup of fruit. Bring slowly to a boil and boil for about 15 to 20 minutes, or until thickened. Stir as the mixture thickens to prevent sticking. You can also test for jelling by removing the pan from the heat and chilling a dab of it. Pour immediately into hot, sterilized jars, leaving 1/4-inch head space. Carefully wipe residue from jar mouths with a paper towel moistened with boiled water and cover with seals and rings. Process in a boiling water bath for 15 minutes.
Makes about 1/2-pint jars.

THE FEEL OF BLUE....

MY LIVING WILL....

I, _____ _____________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers / doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

-my camera
-a hug
-chocolate
-my camera
-my car keys
-chocolate
-chicken fried steak
-cream gravy
-chocolate
-mexican food
-french fries
-chocolate
-pizza
-ice cream
-chocolate
-my car keys
-chocolate

It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Kindley,
Liquid

MY FAVORITE "DOWN HOME" SAYINGS....

* My Papaw White use to say:
"I'm happier than a dog with two peters."
* My Mamaw Margaret use to threaten us with:
"I'll knock you in the head and tell God you died."

And more:

* She always looks like she stepped out of a band-aid box. (rough, bad)
* Act like you got some raising. (manners)
* You're the spitting image of your mother/father. (look & act just like)
* She's madder than a wet hen in a tote sack. (really upset)

And some favorites:

* Sunday go-to-meetin' clothes (best dress)
* Fish or cut bait. (Do it or hush about it.)
* Egg-sucking dawg (person not well thought of)
* Juke joints (bars)
* Drunker than Cooter Brown (I never knew Cooter.)
* Well he/she's just down rite sorry. (person not well thought of or respected)
* Plumb fell off (lost weight)
* You sure are poor. (means skinny)
* Well, if that don't put pepper in the gumbo! (top all)
* He could tear up a railroad track with a rubber hammer. (being rough)
* You must of spit out that baby. (looks just like you)

* This one was used when someone said something (God forbid) rude or annoying:
"Well, thank you, Billy Sunday."

* Whenever I'd start 'wishing my life away,' my grandmother would always say:
"If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride."

* And here's the one a kid really hates to hear:
"GO CUT ME A SWITCH!"

THE COOKIE THEIF....

A woman was waiting at an airport one night, With several long hours before her flight.She hunted for a book in the airport shops. Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.
She was engrossed in her book but happened to see, That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be. Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between, which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.
So she munched the cookies and watched the clock, as the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock. She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by, thinking, "If I wasn't so nice, I would blacken his eye."
With each cookie she took, he took one too, when only one was left, she wondered what he would do.With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh, he took the last cookie and broke it in half.
He offered her half, as he ate the other, she snatched it from him and thought... oooh, brother. This guy has some nerve and he's also rude, why he didn't even show any gratitude!
She had never known when she had been so galled, and sighed with relief when her flight was called. She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate, refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.
She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat, then she sought her book, which was almost complete. As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise, there was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.
If mine are here, she moaned in despair, the others were his, and he tried to share. Too late to apologize, she realized with grief, that she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.

-----------------------------------------------------
How many times in our lives, have we absolutely known that something was a certain way, only to discover later thatwhat we believed to be true ... was not?

BLOGGER ALERT~STOLEN BANANA PUDDING!

Anyone seen this cat? He just burst into my blog and SNATCHED the rest of WIXY'S banana pudding and wiggled away! If you see him........tell him to enjoy....I'm pulling another out of the oven, right now! HA!

MY TRIBUTE TO WIXY'S GONE BANANAS

Today is the one year anniversary of one of my favorite bloggers......Cliff over at WIXY'S GONE BANANAS blog! The following posts are my tribute to him as I join the bunch in going Banana's!

Also, visit the Washington Banana Museum to see a wonderous tribute to, yup, the BANANA!

WIXY'S GONE BANANAS

Join the Bunch!

WIXY'S GONE BANANAS ANNIVERSARY!

BANANA FOOTBALL

click to play

BANANA BARRAGE

click to play

This banana shaped cell phone cover, plays off the classic gag of pretending a banana is a phone. It was hilarious when Groucho Marx did it and the joke is still, ahem, apPEALing today! Squishy foam banana covers your phone, and more importantly, make you look silly when you're talking on your phone - instead of rude. Available for Flip Phones or Bar Phones.

There is an art to Going Bananas!

This is Cliff. Pictured above in the photo on the top (on left) and at work in the photo on the bottom. He is a wonderful friend and a super blogger whom I admire and respect on so many levels. He is informative and kind. Cliff's comments on my blog are always a delight to read. His sense of humor is also part of the perfect packaging over at WIXY'S GONE BANANAS. Today we celebrate his one year anniversary as a Blogger. Please hop over to wish him well today! The following is my tribute to "Going Bananas".......Dig in and enjoy!

Banana Pudding made especially for WIXY and friends..........yum!

Don't be a pickle!

Go on over to WIXY'S GONE BANANAS and wish Cliff a Happy Day!

You looking for WIXY? He ova deah......at WIXY'S GONE BANANAS! You go, hurry, wish him Happy Day!

Yum!

I too have decided to "Join the Bunch" and go bananas!

LET....

...The good times roll!

BIRD DOGS OF THE SOUTH

A fine lineage of southern bird dogs.

(L-R) Homey, Chizzle and Dude. We also reffer to them as our redneck alarm systerm. Yup, that's right....

Just pull up our drive way and these are the "bites" you'll meet! lol...

FABLE'S TALES UNSPOKEN....

I would like to take this moment to direct all of you to another one of my favorite bloggers. His name is Mike and his blog is FABEL'S TALES UNSPOKEN. He has been writing since he was nine years old and I must say has accumulated a wealth of knowlede and wisdom for his youthful years. I admire his talent and his style of writing. Please visit his BLOG and leave him a note of encouragment if you can. He is awesome!

Thank you all~
LIQUID

A WOMAN.....

This is written in the Hebrew Talmud, the book where all of the sayings and preaching of Rabbis are conserved over time.

It says:

"Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears.

The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on.

Not from his head to be superior, but from his side to be equal.

and

Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."

STAY AHEAD....

KINKY....

INKED....I AM!

GIVE 'EM A BREAK.....

YOU'VE JUST GOTTA LOVE THIS ONE!

ART DECO BIRTHDAY CAKE....

How fabulous is this cake!?

MY BIRTHDAY STAR....

Your Birthday Star:
Your birthday star is in the constellation Eridanus.

It is called 58 Eridani in the Historia Cœlestis Britannica of John Flamsteed and Edmund Halley.

It is called NS 0447-1656 in the NSta database.
It has visual magnitude 5.47 meaning that you could just see this star with the naked eye under the best viewing conditions.

It is marked in the center of this star chart, at celestial coordinates (J2000 equinox):
Right ascension

4:47:36.3
Declination
-16:56:4
This star is 43.4 light years away, which means that the light we see from it today set off on its journey at about the same time that you were born. Come back in a month or two and your birthday star may change, as the light from more distant stars reaches Earth.

41 LIQUID BALLOONS.........

My husband, who is so thoughtful, came home for lunch today and asked me to step outside for a moment......He had released 41 blue (for liquid) balloons! How wonderful is that?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG.....

Did you know an unauthorized public performance is a form of copyright infringement?

Is Happy Birthday Really Copyrighted?

Yes.

The melody for Happy Birthday was first penned by two sisters from Kentucky, Mildred J. Hill and Patty Smith Hill. The song was called Good Morning to All, but bore the recognizable melody. The tune was first published in 1893 in the book Song Stories for the Kindergarten. The melody has since passed into the public domain, and is safe to hum in public without permission.

While it is not entirely clear who first wrote down the words for Happy Birthday, it showed up in a few places before Jessica Hill (another Hill sister) was able to demonstrate undeniable similarities between Good Morning to All and Happy Birthday and to secure the copyright to the song.

Working with the Clayton F. Summy Publishing Company, Jessica Hill published and copyrighted Happy Birthday in 1935. While the copyright should have expired in 1991, copyright has been extended repeatedly over the last quarter of the twentieth century and the copyright for Happy Birthday is now not due to expire until at least 2030.

The Clayton F. Summy Company is no longer independent, but, through a chain of purchases, the copyright for Happy Birthday To You lies securely in the hands of the Time Warner company. Happy Birthday's copyright is licensed and enforced by ASCAP, and the simple little ditty brings in more than USD $2 million in annual royalties.

BIRTHDAY QUOTE....

Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.
- Menachem Mendel Schneerson

BIRTHDAY

Your Birthdate: August 13

You're dominant and powerful. You always need to be in charge. While others respect your competence, you can be a bit of a dictator. Hard working and serious, you never let yourself down. You are exact and accurate - and you expect others to be the same way. Your strength: You always get the job done Your weakness: You're a perfectionist to a fault Your power color: Gray Your power symbol: Checkmark Your power month: April

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY....

OK.....So I've made it to the big 41 mark......whew! :)

UPDATE ON POUND TAXI....

This information came to me anonymously via commentary......I found it wonderfully interesting and informative so here's the latest "Down-Low" on not driving if you've been drinking! Thank you, Anonymous, for this information. God Bless YOU!

#Taxi is OK. I've used it. But the time it takes to get through (if you actually do get through to a taxi company) is too long. They make you press a lot of buttons on your phone or go through a dozen or more voice prompts. A much better FREE alternative is 310-TAXI (310-8294) and it doesn't cost you a dime. In fact there is absolutely no charge that shows up on your cell phone bill AT ALL! Unlike #Taxi, that doesn't even tell you that they're going to charge your cell phone bill - WITHOUT your permission. A young person has a short attention span. I know, I am one. I want my taxi service now and I don't think I should have to spend my hard earned money I make at Burger King on cell phone charges that I didn't authorize or know about. So tell your friends about 310-TAXI. It's better, faster and BEST OF ALL ITS ABSOLUTELY FREE.

BEING "MOUTHY"....

JUST SO YOU KNOW....

Planning a trip to the southern part of the United States? If you've ever been down south, you are probably familiar with southern hospitality. If you haven't, you have a few friendly lessons to learn. Folks in the south are really friendly! You can meet as strangers and within a few minutes, become the best of friends. If you are planning your first trip below the Mason-Dixon Line, you should brush up on the southern culture.

Who Are They Waving At?
In the south, people like to wave. You may think the Southern Belles are practicing for the Miss America pageant. Nope, just being friendly. They wave hello, they wave goodbye, and they wave just to let you know that they saw you. Whether you are driving through downtown or down a long country road, if anyone passes you, you can bet they will give you a wave. It's just the friendly thing to do!

Small Talk
In maintaining their hospitable image, southerners love to chat. If you are running errands, make sure you allot yourself time for chit-chat. From the grocery store to the local café, you will find someone that wants to chat.
Passers-by will offer you a cheerful "Hey," that's southern talk for "Hello." You will probably hear the phrase, "Good day, ain't it?" numerous times. Just reply with a "hey" and a "Yep, sure ‘nuff is."
How's Your Mom and them?
When you are greeted with "How's your Mom and them?" this just means, "How's the family?" Just smile and say "They're all fine, just fine. Thanks for askin', and how's your mom and them?"

Y'all and Ain't
Y'all and Ain't are two words that a northerner wouldn't utter, but are commonly used by southerners. Y'all is used in reference to mean you all, everyone or every one of you. Ain't is that word that your English teacher said not to use, because it wasn't a word. Your English teacher apparently never wandered down to the south, because it sure is a word down there.

Phrases and Sayings
Some other words you should be prepared to hear include fixin', which means about to or getting ready to. As in, "I am fixin' to go to the store." "Young-uns" are small children; "reckon" means "I suppose so"; and "yonder" as in "Over yonder", which means "over there".

If you hear any other sayings with which you aren't familiar, just ask what it means. Remember, southerners are hospitable, they'll be glad to help you out. Just don't make fun of their accents or tell them how things are done up north. That just might cause the hospitality to come to an end.

MY VISIT TO THE RESTROOM....

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't -so you carefully, but quick ly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn overin her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance." In this position your toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance." You reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!"
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose onyesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.
Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you say, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly on to the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germand life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper -not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get." By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.
At this point you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women, still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?
"This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest???you've got to be kidding!!). And I hope this explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked question about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

POUND TAXI

This post was borrowed from a dear blogger called Pilgrim. I highly reccommend his blog, The Musing Pilgrim, for a great daily read. The following event occurred in his hometown and was ever more tragic than I could grasp! Especially after reading this post and being informed that there is no reason for this to have happend. Blessings Pilgrim, for this information and from my heart I am sorry to hear of your community's loss. ~Liquid

The story goes as follows:


"The conversation between myself and the MADD representative was rather pertinent considering just over a week prior a 19 year old boy (emphasis on the fact that he's just a wet behnd the ears kid) driving drunk struck and killed a 14 year old girl in our community. It was a tragedy on so many levels. This precious 14 year old's life was over. I can't even pretend to know the anguish of this child's family. The other tragedy was the 19 year old driver would have to live with the nightmare of the stupid decision for the remainder of his life. MADDman elaborated that the Driver's life would change in more ways than I did know. His family will be driven apart over the incident. Many in his family will disown him while others will rally behind him to help him pick up the pieces. The magnitude of the tragedy will never wane. A wedge will be driven between the two factions.
Hopelessly I searched MADDman for some type of anser to the senselessness. He told me about Pound Taxi (#-T-A-X-I).
Pound Taxi is a North American wide initiative by all cellular phone providers on the continent. If you've had too much to drink, punch #-T-A-X-I (#8295) on any cell phone and a taxi will pick you up and drive you home for a measly buck twenty-five charge to your cell phone. MADDman told me to tell my kids if they've had too much too drink and don't want to get into a car with a drunk behind the wheel, get out and dial the number. They will driven home safely.
Unfortunately, this message will only be read by a handful of people, I ask that you please get the message out to everyone you know. A simple $1.25 is not much to ask to save how many lives. "

~Pilgrim

OLD IS WHEN....

"OLD" IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"
"OLD" IS WHEN... Our friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
"OLD" IS WHEN... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
"OLD" IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. (Love it!)
"OLD" IS WHEN... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
"OLD" IS WHEN... "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today.
"OLD" IS WHEN... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.
"OLD" IS WHEN... You really know your way around, but you'd just as soon not go.
And ...
"OLD" IS WHEN...You are not really sure these are jokes.

AND I ASK YOU WHY.....

So, I am sitting on a tire in a yard full of southern treasures when "POOF" a rooster flies toward me and roosts' (literally) in my lap. What does this say about me? Where was I ...........can't tell you... it's a secret place.........How and why..............................Do rooster's need love too?

NOTE WORTHY......

The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.

--Indian Proverb

HUBBA-BUBBA....

Here comes "Trubba"..........he he he!

LOVE TAKES A BOX OF CRAYONS....

I'm only four years old he said..

As he climbed up on the chair.

And handed me the picture he had drawn.
My eyes then engulfed tears as I saw his meticulous attempts to swoon emotional growth.

I knew just how to color Mamma's eyes and Daddy's hair.
But Mam, I still think there's something wrong.

There's one color missing and I just don't know...
If it's gold or green or blue or red.

He said,
which one of my crayons is the color of true love?

Well, I just looked at him and then I said...
Love is red cause it lives within the heart
Love is blue cause it's wider than the sky
yLove is green cause it's deeper than the forest or the ocean
Love is white like a dove for it can fly
Love is gold cause it warms us like the sun
Love is brown like the earth, it helps us grow
Love takes a whole box of crayons to imagine
Love is the heart's rainbow.

I said,

" I've seen little baby's born.
And I've seen old friends pass away."
Love has made me laugh and made me cry.
There ain't just one kind of love
It changes everyday.
And if I had to guess I'd say that's why...
Love is red cause it lives within the heart.
Love is blue cause it's wider than the sky.
Love is green cause it's deeper than the forest or the ocean.
Love is white like a dove, for it can fly.
Love is gold cause it warms us like the sun.
Love is brown like the earth, it helps us grow.
Love takes a whole box of crayons to imagine.
Love is the heart's rainbow.
And he said,
"Oh, thank you, Mam....
Thank you!"
He said,
"Now I think I knowwhat it is that I have got to do.
"He said ,"I'll go get my crayons
And I'll make a big rainbow
And I'll put in one color just for you...

He said :
Love is red cause it lives within the heart
Love is blue cause it's wider than the sky
Love is green cause it's deeper than the forest or the ocean
Love is white like a dove for it can fly
Love is gold cause it warms us like the sun
Love is brown like the earth, it helps us grow
Love takes a whole box of crayons to imagine
Because love is the heart's rainbow.

JUST A THOUGHT....

I'm beginning to see how simplicity and imperfection is, in some things,
Marks of beauty and a cause for wonder....
It's funny how you can be walking through life towards your dreams,
But only when you soak up every precious moment that it has to offer,
Are you relishing each breath you take,
It is then that you are living it all to it's fullest.
I think when we learn to pay attention to the things in life that would normally seem unimportant and insignificant to our happiness,
only then do we really understand...
How blessed we are to be here!

LIQUID WATERMELON....

I wish you could join me on the veranda as I slice up one of my prize watermelons! It's a LIQUID WATERMELON.....................yum!

IT'S A STICKY LIFE SOMETIMES.....