LIQUID ILLUZION

9.25.2007

A CHRISTMAS CARD....

Yup, I think this will be my Christmas Card for this year.

One of them, anyway!

WATER....

Guess which pair I was interested in?

Um, size 8.

I could wear them to blog in.

There is no water left around these parts.

It rained last night almost 1.5 inches.

I heard it thunder then went outside to check it out.

I opened the door and all I heard was, "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuullllllkkkkkkkk".

The ground sucked all the water up immediately.

This morning it is completly dry out there.

9.24.2007

QUOTE....

Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of GOLD but so does a hard boiled egg.

~Anonymous

DO YOU KNOW WHO i AM?

An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled.
A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"

Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone.

"May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal.

"We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to gate 17."

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "(Expletive-Fword) you!"

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."

The man retreated as the people in the terminal applauded loudly.

Although the flight was canceled and people were late, they were no longer angry at United Airlines

SO I WAS THINKING OF ANOTHER GAME WE COULD POSSIBLY PLAY...

Let's invent the "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM" game!!

Go to the comment section and type in:

Now write down three words that "to you", describe OTHER people.

~This is really interesting so leave a comment~

I will get back with y'all soon and let you in on a little secret!

WHY?

I am in a wierd mood today. My mind is spinning and I am thinking about alot of stuff. Crazy stuff. I mean, things that have never caught my attention before are now taunting me with the question......WHY?

For example:

1) I just returned from the bank, which is obviously not open this early in the morning, where I went through the DRIVE thru ATM. Nothing really spectacular about that. It is a common event for most of us. But, I noticed something odd about the DRIVE thru ATM at my bank today. There, on the numerical keypad, is brail above the written numbers. WHY? Some one please help me with this one as I cannot for the life of me imagine why. It is a DRIVE thru ATM and not to be mistaken with the park and WALK up to ATM's which are located near the parking lot and attatched to the side of the very LARGE bank I use. Geeeeeze............If you can DRIVE, shouldn't you be able to see at least a foot in front (or to the side) of you?

2) Also, I wonder.....WHY beer does not come in an assortment of flavors? Say, like kool-aid and even water does these days. After I left the bank with my head tilted to the left, I wanted one. But I am not in the MOOD for the taste of beer. Yuck! So.........WHY NOT?

3) And finally............WHY in the hell is President Mahammoud Ahmadinejad even IN our country and WHO in the hell really wants to hear what he has to say? Oh yeah, and how sweet and thoughtful of him for wishing to visit the Memorial site at the World Trade Center. Imagine this......no one wants to accompany him so as to provide him security. Awwwwwwwwwwwww..........WHY?

9.22.2007

MISS MANNERS....

Proper Southern Manners

Make no mistake about it, manners matter in Dixie! Good manners make life more pleasant for everyone. Good manners are what make Southerners different from those who aren't from here. You cannot take good manners too seriously in the South.

The Fundamentals of Good Manners

These five fundamentals should set you in good stead. Good manners are extended to everybody, regardless of whether you know them, on which side of town they live, or whether they tithe.

Be Humble: Others first, yourself last. Self-denial and deference to others ("After you") are the cornerstone of good manners, acting selfish or uppity is not. This commandment is indisputably rooted in the Bible Belt theology ("the first shall be last, and the last shall be first").
Be Courteous: Remember the Golden Rule. Go out of your way to be helpful and kind to everyone you encounter.
Behave Yourself: Don't be uncouth, rude, brash, loud, coarse, or cause a commotion in public. Only trashy types do such things.....and obviously this is because they weren't raised to know better.
Be Friendly: Put your friendliest foot forward, whether you've been properly introduced or don't know the person from a hole in the ground. Be sociable and neighborly, just like you learned in Sunday School ("Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself").
Be Modest: Never be high-falutin'. Practice modesty in all situations. "Why, shucks, I guess I was in the right place at the right time" would work just fine upon learning that you had won the Pulitzer Prize. "Of course I won it, I deserve to" would absolutely categorize you as too big for your britches.

Common Courtesies in Dixie

Say "please" without fail. Please, always say "please" when you make a requet, no matter how trivial or important.

Always ask, never tell. The only way to make a request is to ask for it, directives are much too surly. "Would you please carry me up the road a piece?" is correct. "Give me a ride to the market" is most assuredly not.

Say "Thank you" without fail. Upon being granted your request--be it a personal favor or impersonal transaction--always look the other party in the eye, give them a pleasing smile, and cheerily say, "Thank you". To show them you're really grateful, dress it up with "Thank you kindly," "Thanks a whole lot," "Preciate it". If your request is denied, say "Well, thank you anyway." Using your best turn-the-other-cheek manner.

Say "ma'am" and "sir" without fail. If any adult your senior addresses you (or vice versa), automatically attach the appropriate title to your response ("Yes ma'am, "I reckon so, Sir", "Pardon me ma'am"). Neglecting this rule is apt to be interpreted as arrogance or insolence or just plain bad upbringing.

Always refer to those of the female gender as Ladies. The descriptive woman is usually reserved in Dixie for females of questionable respect. If you are a gentleman, then treat all ladies with courtness, deference, and respect you'd accord members of the royal family since, in the South, ladies occupy such status.

This is an immutable rule of order in Dixie, no matter what may be happening elsewhere on this planet.

Chivalry may not be well appreciated outside the South today, but you can be sure that around home territory a true gentleman will so honor a lady:

Hold the door open for all members of the fairer sex, regardless of their social station.

Stand when a lady enters or leaves a room.

Walk on the streetside of a side-walk, when accompanying a lady.

Order for both of you when at a restaurant (excluding business meals).

Always call his mother "Mamma" or "mutha" or "Mrs. -------"-never by her first name, no matter what his age.

My Daddy Said

As my daddy told me many years ago, "Good manners do not cost you anything to exercise, but the lack of them may cost you dearly further down the road".
My daddy also told my brother, Greg, "Treat all ladies as ladies, no matter what you have heard and continue to do so until she proves to you that she is not a lady".
He also said " A man's word is his bond and that you come into this world with only your name and will leave this world the same and how you are remembered is how you kept the honor of your name".

The last quote that I will make of my daddy's is...

"The manners that your children exhibit to you and the public are a direct reflection of you".

9.18.2007

THE "I WISH" GAME....

I will be away for several days so I thought I would give another blogger's idea of a game a try. I will be popping in every so often to check my email and such. So, lets play the ‘I Wish Game’ originally brought to us by Kristine, stolen by Tammy, stolen by Memphis Steve and then stolen by me.

Here’s how it goes:

The person above you in the comment section makes a wish (”I wish I had a banana!”), and then the person below grants your wish, and then wishes something else, but here’s the fun part...............Your wish is messed up!

Example:

WIXY'S GONE BANANAS—-I wish I had a banana.

RDL—-Granted, but the banana tastes bad. I wish I had a ticket to a concert.

AMIAS—-Granted, but it’s a Barney concert. I wish…etc.

It really turned out funny on Steve's blog so, we'll see what we can come up with here. If anyone knows O.J. Simpson's email address, please invite him to come and play along with us.

(Some of you will appreciate, ah-hum, my mention of inviting him. Some of you will not. Apologies to those who do not but it is just a test, ah-hum)

9.14.2007

I FOUND THIS.....FUNNY!

LIFE: EXPLAINED....

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.
"Not very long," answered the Mexican.
"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.
The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.
The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs.

I have a full life."
The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."
"And after that?" asked the Mexican.
"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."
"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.
"And after that?"
"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"
"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the Mexican.
"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

And the moral of this story is:

......... Know where you're going in life... you may already be there.

9.12.2007

OKATIBBEE RESIVOIR....

Or rather, what's left of it. It is sad that we are nineteen inches below average with rainfall amounts this year and the lake has been off limits to ski and sail but it sure is nice to now have a "beach" to walk and play upon right here in our backyard. Yes, we missed the water sport events this summer but only to realize that now,

WE HAVE A BEACH!

PLAYING CATCH....

Bubbles is chased by Trickle........"Who's going in first!?"

She is fast but he is strong....

BANANA TREE....

This was blown away from the waterpark, "Splash-Down", located across the lake. Hurricane Katrtina demolished the place and this banana tree survived at the bottom of the resivoir awaiting to re-plant itself on the sandy beach two years later in our backyard.