6.05.2008

You Know You Are From Mississippi If....


1. You can properly pronounce Kosciusko, Ackerman, and Belzoni.
2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are sissies.
3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
5. Stores don't have bags or shopping carts, they have sacks and buggies.
6. You've seen people wear overalls at funerals.
7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
8. You measure distance in minutes. (It's about 5 minutes down the road)
9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
11. You know cow pies are not made of beef.
12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
13. You have known someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.
14. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, beer, and bait all in the same store.
15. A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.
16. You know everything goes better with Ranch Dressing.
17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
18. You actually get these jokes and are 'fixin' to send them to your friends.
19. You have used your heater and air-conditioner in the same day!
And Finally:
You are 100% Mississippian if you have ever had this conversation:
20. 'You wanna coke?'
'Yeah.'
'What kind?'
'Dr Pepper.'

19 comments:

Bruce Johnson said...

You could use these same lines for folks here in Arizona....except they would all be in spanish.

Liquid said...

Now, THAT'S funny!

Chelle said...

Why you gotta go talking about me on the internet...Proud to be form Mississippi....and proud to say that I am familar with everyone of these. LOL
Missing my Mississippi homies something awful...can't wait to get down there to visit ya!
Love,
~C~

Bob Keller said...

Damned air conditioner died today.... And the repair man told me I've have to replace the heater!

Have you noticed that every restaurant, including the steak houses and even the Chinese Restaurant serve a "catfish buffet"on Thursday, Friday and Saturday night?

Liquid said...

Chelle:
I'd rather be no where else!
(Well, most of the time!)

:)

Liquid said...

Wizard:

This is soooooooo true!
You can even find it on the breakfast menu at most places too!

Ghost Dansing said...

i must to show you the zz top mississippi song.....

keep thinkin' 'bout that night in Memphis,
Lord, I thought I was in Heaven.
I keep thinkin' 'bout that night in Memphis,
I thought I was in Heaven.
But I was stumblin' thru the parking lot
Of an invisible seven eleven.

wut wuz i doin ot dare?

SandyCarlson said...

You made me laugh out loud 20 times. Thanks, Liquid!

Liquid said...

ghost dansing:

I LOVE that song!

Liquid said...

Sandy:

You just gotta' love the South!

Cliff said...

Let me see....

I don't see anything about NASCAR.

I know Meridian, Mississippi is bigger than Rittman, Ohio and I know you think I have an acccent.

blue feather

Leighann said...

HA! Overalls to a funeral!

Thanks for the laughs :)

WH said...

Loved 19, since it's been so true down here up until a month ago. Well, since I'm from SE Looziana, I identify with the entire list. You just described the "color" of my entire life. You mean the rest of the country doesn't speak this way? ROFL. We live in a good region. We're lucky. Now, how many ways are there to pronounce New Orleans -:) About 4 ... 5?

Panaderos said...

LOL!! I have a buddy who grew up in Jackson and went to see him there back in 2006. I'll forward this to him. Thanks! :)

V said...

HAHA; absolutely loved that last one. And I dare say, there are were so many points I could relate to - especially the one boiling down to the heat - and am not even from the US. Nice post;

--
Sumedh

This Is My Blog - fishing guy said...

Liquid: 21. Are you saying, if your highhills have horse shoes on them?

Carlos said...

I Googled "Kosciusko" and found they pronounce it Kah-zee-ESS-ko in Mississippi (per Wikipedia).

The town of the same name, just south of San Antonio here, is pronounced kuh-SHOO-sko. Interesting ;-)

La Framéricaine said...

I was beginning to think I was depressed after not laughing for so long but I just found out it was because I wasn't visiting GrandIlluzionVille! Jesus H. Christ! I laughed out loud without stopping while counting from 1-20!

But I thought all these quaint cultural attributes were unique to my early stomping grounds in Oklahoma. Do you think most Okies have Mississippian ancestors?

By the way, I do love the Chinese foot binding-influenced tap shoes! Are they for the Olympics?

How in the hell do you sleep at night with his level of hilarity lapping at your mind's shore?

Write on!

La Framéricaine said...

California Press Release to Paris Suburb French Outpost:

From:
La Framéricaine 13Jun08

To:
Rasmenia in France,

If you have any time left over after your tight TV schedule, take a cyberride over to Liquid Illuzion for a blahgosphere encounter with a woman who rivals you honestly for hilarity.

I’d love be the matchmaker for this summit–”Rasmenia Meets Liquid.” Let me know how the meeting goes!

Amitiés,