And Lemme' Tell You Something......

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...

neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men:
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence
and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience,

and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd,
take a look back every now and then
to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in.
12. "Once, after eating an entire bull,
a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him."

The moral:
When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

and

most importantly

13. NEVER squat with your spurs on!

GROWING OLDER...

First ~ Eventually,

you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age

start bragging about it.

(Well, for some of us anyway!)

Second ~ The older we get,

fewer things seem

worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way

and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,

think of Algebra


Fifth ~ You know you are getting older when

everything either dries up or leaks.

(Unless you are a Ho Dawg and then it begins around 32)


Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill

without getting to the top.


Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging

is that it is such a nice change

from being young and stupid.


Eighth ~ One must wait until evening

to see how splendid

the day has been.


Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful,

being old

is beautifully comfortable.

Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today it's called golf.

And finally ~

If you don't learn to laugh at

"trouble"

you won't have anything to laugh at

when you are old.

The End.