11.17.2008

Southern Home Security System.....


1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's work boots, used, size 14-16. $2.00

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine or NRA. Magazine - $3.00

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim:

I went for more shotgun shells and to pick my check up from the slaughterhouse. I should be back in an hour. Don't mess with the Pit Bulls--don't know what got into them, but they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait out here on the porch.

Later~
Liquid

21 comments:

Shadow said...

this is GOOOOOD!

Amel's Realm said...

WO HO HO HO HO HO...This is BRILLIANTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!! ;-D

Gabriella Moonlight said...

OMG...this is hilarious and in our part of the world, unfortunately true!!! Thanks for the Monday morning merriment!
G

simstone said...

You definitely are a Southern country girl. On the mark.

Michelle Dawn said...

That is funny I love it. Maybe I should try it even though I'm in the north.

Megan said...

I just snorted my coffee.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

That is a riot!

NYD said...

It's waaaayy too early in the morning for me to be laughing this much.

Gonna have to post this up at work later on.

Lynne said...

Seems like fun over here.

big Jenn said...

Sounds like the guys in my hood!jeNN

Ghost Dansing said...

kultural thang.......

big Jenn said...

I thought it was interesting that we were reading each other's blogs at the exact samr times. Love your bones too.jeNN

Chelle said...

I think I will put a picture of "ole Jeff and Blue" on my page and call it Crenshaw Security Company!!!! HA
Less than two days til I get to see you...I'm so excited that I am going to blog about it!

coltfan said...

north but soutern at heart lol grea post

Linda S. Socha said...

I could picture this pretty vividly!. This must come from being southern gal ...even if a kind of transplant. I am fairly new to your blog. Thanks for sharing the fun
Linda

Daisy said...

If these two handsome dogs were part of the welcoming committee, I don't think I'd visit for long. Funny, Suzanne! Thanks for the laugh. :D

Jedi Master Daryl said...

Hehehe, that is a good one! Too bad most theives don't use the front door unless it is REALLY easy to get into.

Awake In Rochester said...

LOL! That's a riot! I sent the link to a friend of mine. I think she'll get a kick out of it. ;o)

LadyBanana said...

Directed here by Awake In Rochester..

This just what I need considering recent events..

Gadfly said...

LOL

HelenWheels said...

Ha ha!! Great post! You know what though? A cop here in L.A. told me once that people who have dogs rarely get their houses broken into. He said every home invasion he's investigated were non-dog households.

Who needs a gun when no one would break in in the first place?

LOL.... love the pic. I am nuts about pits. They are the sweetest.