5.01.2008

And Lemme' Tell You Something......

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...
neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men:
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence
and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd,
take a look back every now and then
to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in.
12. "Once, after eating an entire bull,
a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him."

The moral:
When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
and
most importantly
13. NEVER squat with your spurs on!

GROWING OLDER...

First ~ Eventually,
you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age
start bragging about it.
(Well, for some of us anyway!)

Second ~ The older we get,
fewer things seem
worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way
and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,
think of Algebra


Fifth ~ You know you are getting older when
everything either dries up or leaks.
(Unless you are a Ho Dawg and then it begins around 32)


Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill
without getting to the top.


Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change
from being young and stupid.


Eighth ~ One must wait until evening
to see how splendid
the day has been.


Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful,
being old
is beautifully comfortable.


Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today it's called golf.

And finally ~

If you don't learn to laugh at
"trouble"
you won't have anything to laugh at
when you are old.

The End.

15 comments:

74WIXYgrad said...

Some great lessons learned from Liquid University.

Mrs74 thought they were quite funny also

Chelle said...

Lovin' every minute of it!

~Chelle~

Panaderos said...

I love this gem of a post. Funny but also very true. We ought to take pride in the wisdom we've gained through all the good and bad we've seen and experienced.

Thanks for sharing and Happy Friday! :)

ozymandiaz said...

A good bit o wisdom before the weekend
need some stuff in there about drinking
so I can have something to ruminate upon whilste I drink myself into a stupor this weekend

Liquid said...

Panaderos:
Thanks bud, have a super weekend!

Ozymandiaz:

You got it......

14. Never drink with out ME!

There..........

:)-

Liquid said...

Chelle:
Hey darlin'!
How's that ankle?
You know I had you in mind for some of the rules.......ah hemmmmmmmmmm #13 to be exact!

Liquid said...

Wixy:
Ahhhhhhh, yep, LU!

Hellooooooooo Mrs.74!

Ya'll have a great weekend!

:)-

rdl said...

love it!!

ozymandiaz said...

bottoms up then

Liquid said...

RDL:
I think of you so often, it ain't even funny! Hope all is well, in your COURT!

Liquid said...

Ozymandiaz:
*rolling over*
:)-
Cheers!

Scarlet W. Blue said...

Ah, wisdom. I like.

Liquid said...

Scarlet w. Blue:

I think you wise, as well!
:)

Utah Savage said...

Great post! However you seem far too young to have this much wisdom about growing old.

Liquid said...

I like the word.......'seemingly.
I like the way it rolls off of my tounge.
I just do.

The post is a gathering of wisdom I have heard and seen gathered over almost 42 years.

I claim none of it to be original.......just, true.

To me of recent, anyway.

Thank you for visiting and for commenting.

When I find the voice inside me.....today, maybe tommorrow, I will commment on your blog.

I find your blog FABULOUS and it is more of an escape for me to sit and read in silence as opposed to reading with deep intent.

I'm like that.