-Don't forget to wear pearls.
-Don't squat with your spurs on.
-Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.
-Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
-The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
-If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
-If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.
-It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
-The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you tweeze your brows in the mirror every morning.
-Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
-If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
-Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
-Always drink upstream from the herd.
-Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.
-Tellin' someone to git lost and makin' em do it are two entirely different propositions.
-If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.
-Good judgement comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgement.
-When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
-When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
-Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.
-Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's sure crucial to know what it was.
-The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.
-Never miss a good chance to shut up.


74WIXYgrad said...

Great words of wisdom. Maybe you can translate this into southern:

The reason you were given two ears and one mouth is so you can listen twice as much as you talk.

Liquid said...

Yup, that'd be the very last one!
Should've been in the top 2 though!

cathouse teri said...

*Teri zips it up*

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. ~ Abe Lincoln

rdl said...

Love it!

Sandy Carlson said...

All wonderful! Drinking upstream of the herd never hurt anybody! These are great. Thanks.

Liquid said...

Cathouse Teri, RDL and Sandy:

You all would make wonderful Cowgirls 'round these parts!