A story about ~LOVES & HATES~ that never ends!
Just as the sunsets of a million years passed,
each evening we would spend painting the truths of our innocent crushes.
Splashing them upon the big sleepy sky.
I loved creating the magic that happens with splendid color palates.
And you had your funny little fetish for big fuzzy brushes!
This brought us together, on common ground, it was our beginning, so sweetly easing in.
All the wondrous evenings we spent at the top of that hill helped us to understand what adoration feels like, when the feeling is brand new.
We both knew that we had a special bond.
One that would seal our souls together, forever.
Like being hooked on a single line, a fish and a phish.
We needed each other for and couldn't reason as why.
We just felt it's power and knew it would last.
Like bubble gum thats stuck to the bottom of your favorite shoe.
For ever and ever
'till the end of all ends
and the seasons cease to pass.
The flavor would last and last.
We just knew!
Oh, how many times
have we watched the clock on the wall and literally saw the time
sneak to stand still?
Picking up pecans and skinnin' the fish from the creek
Shooting crows and chasing cows then purposely playing in the mud so we could roll down the hills?
All covered in grass, cramming hay in our britches as we walked the same path that led us to our homes. We knew what we'd be gettin',
Yep, a real good lickin'!
Sometimes our butts would be numb for days from the parental ills.
Like two peas in a pod and Bonnie and Clyde we were two free spirits,
too stubborn to hide.
But that was the fun part.
Don't you agree?
It's no wonder nor is it a surprise we've grown up to be
the people we are, inside.
Yeah, just like pirates floating and robbing freely across the seas.
I love playing with you!
It's so much fun.
Taking turns, sharing our toys and putting away our guns.
(Well, the big ones anyway!)
Standing nose to nose, barefeet in the wet grass, wiggling our toes.
I remember the moment we first tried to dance.
After we sat speechless for hours staring up at that sky
as soft swirls of color
cast over us, surrounding us
and gracefully twirling by.
Touching our hair.
It was our roof.
Feeling the warmth of your hand as you placed it cautiously over mine.
It felt as sweet as the sun up in the wondrous sky.
It's warmth, like our touch, would forever lead to endless kisses.
And eventually, a bunch of near misses.
You always picked for me, such beautiful and dainty little flowers.
In your heart you would arrange them by color and scale
with such confidence and the cutest boy- like grace.
Oh, and how I blushed and I blushed
when you wiped the paint from my silly red face.
That was the day I first felt my heart race.
Silently I begged of you to never let it end.
I said it in my head hoping you would keep your pace.
In return for your tenderness, I gave you my heart.
(I was so charmed and smitten and tickled by you)
I served you my heart on a beautiful
sterling silver plate,
laced lovingly with elegant gold leaf.
I should have watched what you ate
so you wouldn't have turned into such a flake.
Oh, and the flowers you so lovingly picked for me,
the day I turned nine,
they must have been poisoned or wild or pulled out of some sickly
'Cause the next thing I remember
was you gnawing, sucking and licking my heart.
I couldn't move a muscle while you smacked and you munched.
My eyes were a flicker
in total shock and disgust.
How dare you?
I trusted you!
I'D LOVED YOU SINCE WE WERE TWO!!
You left me defiled, broken, confused, angry and mean.
I lost more than my sense of smell on that day,
especially for flowers and some rotten kind of bean.
The ways in which you slowly devoured me,
still control me to this day.
You like it like that and I think the power of your love had made you mean.
~Next frame - a derailed portrait of a lifetime of love~
I woke up in a room that was padded and locked.
I watched as the men who had no balls
turned arrogantly to you droped the key to my prision
aimlessly at your feet.
They gave you permission to forever control the pace that my soul would rot.
I lost what was left of my mind as I stayed in that place.
I paced and I spit
while plotting your murder
in that tiny little space.
Sit down by me, honey.
I've got plenty to say.
Don't be afraid.
"You just thought you knew crazy"
'TILL YOU BIT ME THAT DAY!
My dear, I'll love you forever, but in my own special way.
I continue to ponder the sunsets we've witnessed,
and have counted the ones we've missed.
These moments that hang between our love and our madness,
keep me hungry for more of your confusing sadness.
As you mumble and grumble and continue to nibble at me,
I'll eagerly share with you, what you left of me.
My organs I need to nourish my life,
I've doused them in vinegar, arsenic and spice.
My haunting laughter tastes so good in my mind.
Not to worry, baby.
You know we'll be fine!
We'll linger together, the crazy back and forth way
that we continuously do,
we pinkie-promised on this one
and we will continue this mad love affair forever,
Or at least 'til one of us turns horrifically blue.
Our souls speak to each other, in wordless tongues.
Licking our brains till our heads go numb.
The gift of familiar feeds us with loving care and concern
then throws fuel on our fires as they rigorously burn.
If ever I'm separated, even briefly from you,
I'm gonna' search this world over
'till I find my you
You'll never escape me and the love you created.
It has become my game now
and I'm on quite a roll.
I'll allow you to play poker
in my smokey lil' room
where I keep rhinestone chokers
and have closets upon closets filled with old stacked boxes.
I've stored all my dreams here and my hearts empty pleas in this dark seething room full of long forgotten choices that still pounce like fleas.
Somewhere in the move, I've misplaced my desires.
I probably got drunk and tossed them in fires.
I LOVE FIRE, you know!
I choose now,
because it's my turn
to stand over you with flowers that are covered with blood, semen and urine.
I'll hold on to my heart that now drips from a healthy green stem.
As we wait for the sun to shine on us as she takes her last bow,
she'll sink slowly before us,
posing, remembering how.
We'll paint her together
as evening begins it's shadow over us
painting and painting till our old worn out grudges
look like fresh new tattoos.
I think you'll like our new canvas.
It's sweet to the touch.
Oh dear, my heart just felt a faint flutter!
"Here, would you please hold this feather while I put on my sweater?
'Cause, it's cold here in hell
in this place that we've built.
Where we now reside
where I live for you
just because I care about you,
forgiving of you,
again and again."
Come on baby,
Let's just go pick some flowers like we used to do.
I'll keep my heart safe and hide it quietly from you.
We'll go through this life,
loving and hugging,
teething and scratching
neither searching, nor wanting
to find it's end winding.