I have been at a stand-still for so long,
I am not sure where I am headed anymore.
You cannot begin a new chapter of your life
until an old one ends.
I am ready, oh soooo ready,
but am paralyzed by the legalities of divorce.
My heart is huge,
my dreams, even bigger.
May 13, 2008,
And even then,
it is just another date
to begin to wait.
You're a pro at going with the flow
You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.
While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.
Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done
You're passionate - just selective about your passions
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks .
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
who owns a liquor store
Dear Internal Revenue Service:
Prince William raised eyebrows when he used an RAF Chinook helicopter
The Prince has already won his RAF 'Wings'
He flew the aircraft to pick up Prince Harry from Woolwich Barracks in South East London before flying on to the Isle of Wight and landing at Bembridge Airport at 4pm.
"Having spent a week under instruction with a
"Flying at low level Prince William piloted the heavy support
The Prince celebrated his achievement in customary style.
He and a group of friends spent the weekend on
Maricopa County, in Arizona
Cats and Dogs,
and the County Supervisors said,
The animal shelters are now all staffed and operated by prisoners.
They feed and care for the strays.
Every animal in his care is taken out and walked twice daily.
He now has prisoners who are experts in animal nutrition and behavior.
They give great classes for anyone who'd like to adopt an animal.
He has literally taken stray dogs off the street, given them to the care of prisoners,
and had them place ribbons in dog shows.
The best part?
His budget for the entire department is now under $3 million.
He was neutered, and current on all shots, in great health
Cost us $78."
but most would work for free, just to be out of their cells for the day.
Most of his budget is for utilities, building maintenance, etc.
He pays the prisoners out of the fees collected for adopted animals.
I have long wondered when the rest of the country would take a look
at the way he runs the jail system, and copy some of his ideas.
He has a huge farm, donated to the county years ago,
where inmates can work, and they grow most of their own fresh vegetables and food,
doing all the work and harvesting by hand.
He has a pretty good sized hog farm,
provides meat, and fertilizer.
It fertilizes the Christmas tree nursery, where prisoners work,
and you can buy a living Christmas tree for $6 - $8 for the Holidays,
and plant it later.
"We have six trees in our yard from the Prison."
Immigrations and Customs Enforcement wasn't doing enough in his eyes,
so he had 40 deputies trained specifically
started up his own hot line,
and bought 4 new buses
He's kind of a
TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH
HE IS THE MARICOPA ARIZONA COUNTY SHERIFF
AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED
OVER AND OVER
THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY:
Sheriff Joe Arpaio
He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails.
Took away their weights Cut off all but "G" movies.
He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.
Then He Started Chain Gangs For Women So He Wouldn't Get Sued For Discrimination
He took away cable TV Until he found out there was A Federal Court Order that Required Cable TV For Jails So He Hooked Up The Cable TV Again Only Let In The Disney Channel And The Weather Channel.
When asked why the weather channel He Replied,
"So they will know how HOT it's gonna be working on MY Chain Gangs."
He cut off coffee since it has Zero nutritional value.
When the inmates complained, he told them,
"This Isn't The Ritz/Carlton....
If You Don't Like It, Don't Come Back."
He bought Newt Gingrich's lecture series
When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat,
More On The Arizona Sheriff:
With Temperatures Being Even Hotter Than Usual In Phoenix
Many Were Also Swathed In Wet, Pink Towels
"It Feels Like We Are In A Furnace,"
......AND WASN"T THAT A PARTY!?
2008 Rolls Royce Phantom!
Ya'll go on over to Bella's blog,
and wish her a wonderful day!
Then everyone come back over here and help me eat this cake
and drink up these Mint Julips!
We all know and love the fact that Bella is Green
so I thought them to be the perfect drink
for a party on such a fabulous spring day!
Also, loved the cake because it was also Green,
in that it is as beautiful as Bella
and just as sweet.
"Dah'ling...May every hallway be a runway for you, today!"
Place mint leaves, sugar and a splash of water into a silver julep cup
or a 12-ounce Tom Collins glass.
Muddle the mint, sugar, and water together with the tip of the handle of a wooden spoon.
Fill the glass with shaved ice, add the bourbon, and stir until combined.
Garnish with a lemon or orange slice, a cherry,
and a few sprigs of fresh mint.
Unfortunately, like most men, he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
As he is a no frills, in and out, kinda guy.
Equally unfortunately, my Mother is like most women - - she loves to browse and browse and browse some more.
Yesterday my Mother tells me of a letter she received from the local Wal-Mart on Higway 19 North.
Dear Mrs. White,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. White are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in "Housewares" to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed,
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
he assumed a fetal position and screamed
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least.
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waitedawhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
Please choose another store in our area to browse in.
We do appreciate your business.