We all like to think that all our actions and reactions are totally rational and appropriate to each and every situation. In fact, we bear hot resentment toward any male-type who presumes to diagnose our slight hormonal trough or surge. And if we do happen to be in the hormonal induced state, nothing makes us madder than to have a MAN suggest it. We can say that about ourselves if we feel like it, but woe be unto the man wo tries to blame our reaction to his bad behavior on a little estrogen, plus or minus. The words "towering rage" were first used to describe just such a situation, I believe. My daddy's favorite Biblical threat toward one's enemies was "Let us cut off his head and make of his house a dunghill." Sounds good to me, and after all, it is in the Bible.
Witness these hormonal events:
A woman, who shall remain nameless, calls her sister and makes the report that, not only does she not love her husband, she no longer even likes him.
"Yesterday I was looking out hte window and he was walking across the yard, when all of a sudden - he fell into a hole! One second he was there, the next he just dropped out of sight! I started laughing and I could not stop!" She laughed so hard, she fell down and just lay there, in a heap, cackling and whooping till the tears ran down her face and she had big black puddles of melted mascara all over her cheeks. Presently she heaved herself up by the window ledge and peered out. By this time, he was dragging himself out of the hole and she realized he had hurt himself in some manner. "I started laughing all over again! I never laughed so hard in all my life. I thought to myself....'Just stay in that hole, you old fart!' And then I laughed some more!" Eventually, she calmed herself down, and he managed to haul his carcass in from the front yard. She glanced up as he entered, and he said to her, "You will never believe what just happend to me." She, with a completely straight face, replied, "Oh? What was that?"
This was a local event.
From the wire services, we see a national trend. A seventy-year-old man was beaten to death with a shoe - by a woman - as he lay on the sofa. I called one of my friends and inquired whether or not she was a suspect in the "Fatal Shoe Beating," since I knew she'd been enjoying very little domestic bliss lately. We both agreed that you'd have to be pretty pissed off at somebody to beat them to death with a shoe. The wire service did not give us nearly all the details we craved: like what kind of shoe was it and how many times did she whack him with it? We figured it must have occurred in some strict-gun-control state. Poor woman couldn't get a handgun and had to use footwear to finish him off. This just points to the never failing resourcefulness of women, though, not to mention their long suffering natures. I mean, how many times do you reckon she had told him to get up off that couch? I'm quite certian she was just pushed beyond the human limitations of tolerance and had no choice. That will no doubt, be her defense. (You go girrrrrrl!) The hormone defense probably doesn't stand up in court. And you know she hated to ruin that shoe too, bless her heart. God, we beg of your mercy and please save the Sweet Potato Queens!